Sign up! Sign up! Sign up! www.giftoflifemichigan.org for Michigan residents or www.organdonor.gov for anywhere else. I never got a comment for why one decides not to become an organ donor in a previous post. Your body won't be hacked up, you will still be able to have a viewing, medical personnel will do everything to save you, but the best part ---you will live on in someone else that would ultimately DIE without that gift of life.
If you asked me 5yrs ago if I ever thought in my wildest dreams that I would be where I am today healthwise, you would have heard a resounding NO. Heck, I'd been through enough as a child, now I need a transplant ?!?!?! It is very surreal at times and with my recent lung function dropping again to 22% a few wks ago the reality of a transplant is creeping closer and closer. This year could be a game changer for me--SCARY!!!!! You can't really understand until it affects you personally-there is so much involved. Do I want to be here? NO! Do I want to stop and catch my breath if I walk too fast? NO! Do I want to die at 38? NO! Do I want to lock myself in a closet and scream and break things and hit someone in the face as hard as I can? SOMETIMES! Do I want to curl up in a ball and stay in my bed somedays? YES!
Ah, the unending roller coaster of emotions one experiences when life decides to pull the rug out from under you. Life goes on with or without you, so I will fight to keep up with the demands of life.
I go to Wisconsin in a few wks, they want to see me before putting me back on the active part of the list. I'm pretty sure they want to make sure I can still travel there and don't look like death warmed over with this barely working lungs. The time has come, the time has come, it is done.
Here's a great song that sums up how I'm feeling-the first line says it all.
you are still on our prayer list; may God have mercy ...
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